They stood me up again. More hard sucking at my breasts, fingers probing my pussy, and then another indignity as a finger worked its way into my ass. I yelped and was treated to more derisive laughter. One of them stuck his tongue in my ear and then said, "we fuck you ass too. Whores like assfuck."The train stopped, then started again. Surely we were nearing the end of the commuter line. I finally dared open my eyes and realized it was dark. The lights had come on, and now the view of what was going on would be crystal clear for anyone outside the train. It was like being on a stage with spotlights on me. I couldn't see out, but I new everyone could see in. I also realized there were very few people left in the car, and there were only men, no women. There were perhaps half a dozen besides my attackers, and none of them made any pretense of not noticing. They were all standing close by, and clearly enjoying the scene playing out in front of them.With no crowd pressing in, the men had. ..” she said, as the door closed on her. And on my life, as I had known it.Part 2My early morning flight from Chicago arrives at LAX right on time, a little after noon. LA is my least favorite city. I am, in this way at least, a typical New Yorker, although I was born and raised in West Pittston, PA. My husband, Rob, is a true New Yorker. A former Navy man, I think he would shrivel up and die in this desert.I’m greeted at the airport by my son Oscar and his ‘friend’ Mark. Somehow I’m not supposed to know he is gay, and that he and Mark are a couple. Twenty-two years ago I gave birth to a twelve pound, eight-ounce chubby little angel. Now he is a six foot three skinny young man who embraces me with a bearish hug. He is estranged from his father for no reason that I can understand.Rob loves his son, but there is a widening gulf between them. Men are so often a mystery —what is a woman to do? Rob has no idea his son is gay. My Rob is what other men call a man’s man. He is big, not just.
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